📖Stillness is the key: unlock the potential and peace within you

I was recommended this book by a friend that was a much needed read at that time for me. I put this down for myself to reflect back on in the future.

Stillness. It’s the ability to slow things down. To clarify your thinking. To centre your soul. To direct your efforts. To be steady while the world spins.

Stillness is the secret to elite performance, to leadership and creativity. It is the peace that makes room for happiness. The question is how can you find it? And what would be possible if you did?

Picking this book as one of my first philosophical reads was certainly a good introduction to stoicism — you will learn why in a few minutes!

Before we delve deeper into each domain, let’s look at why is seeking stillness so important? It is important because, in author’s words, it is the key:

• To think clearly
• To seeing the whole chessboard
• To making tough decisions
• To managing our emotions
• To identifying the right goals
• To handling high pressure situations
• To maintaining relationships
• To building good habits
• To being productive
• To physical excellence
• To feeling fulfilled

It’s essentially the key to being better: a better parent, a better artist, a better investor, a better athlete, a better scientist, a better human being.

To achieve stillness, we need to focus on three domains : Mind. Spirit. Body. — The head, The heart and The flesh. To seek stillness, we need to reduce the disturbances and perturbations that make stillness impossible.

L̶e̶t̶’̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶k̶e̶y̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶r̶n̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶e̶a̶c̶h̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶o̶k̶. Learnings from this book are highly personal and I think every person who would read this book would relate to it differently. Instead of summarising the book, I can only try to gather some things that really spoke to me from each chapter to remind myself of my own learnings. Hope it stirs something in you, or maybe inspires you to pick up the book for yourself! 🙂

I have left some titles without much description — since either I found them redundant or they didn’t speak much to me.

The Domain of the Mind

Become present

“People don’t understand that the hardest thing is actually doing something that is close to nothing. It demands all of you…”. It’s not nothing. It may be the hardest thing in the world.

“We do not live in this moment. We, in fact, try desperately to get out of it — by thinking, doing, talking worrying, remembering, hoping, whatever. We pay thousands of dollars to have a device in our pocket to ensure that we are never bored. We sign up for endless activities and obligations, chase money and accomplishments, all with the näive belief that at the end of it will be happiness.”

“Remember, there’s no greatness in the future. Or clarity. Or insight. Or happiness. Or peace. There is only this moment.” — not the literal 60 seconds, but the real present moment is what we choose to exist in, instead of lingering on the past or fretting about the future.

“You have plenty on your plate right now. Focus on that, no matter how small or insignificant it is. Do the very best you can right now. Be here. Be all of you. Be present.”

Limit your inputs

“There is way too much coming at us. In order to think clearly, it is essential that each of us figures out how to filter out the inconsequential from the essential. It’s not enough to be inclined toward deep thought and sober analysis; a leader must create time and space for it.”

As a leader, “Knowing what not to think about. What to ignore and not to do. It’s your first and most important job. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?’”

Block those unimportant incoming texts and calls. Block unnecessary drama from your life. Learn to block the noise — protect your space — put up proper barriers to keep the intrusions away.

Empty the mind

Don’t overanalyse. Don’t overthink. Don’t bring in needless doubts.

The space between your ears — that’s yours. You don’t just have to control what gets in, you also have to control what goes on in there. You have to protect it from yourself, from your own thoughts. Not with sheer force, but rather with a kind of gentle, persistent sweeping. Because mind is an important and sacred place. Keep it clean and clear.”

Find confidence, avoid ego

Slow down, think deeply

“…Appearances are misleading.” First impressions are too. We are disturbed and deceived by what’s on the surface, by what others see. Then we make bad decisions, miss opportunities, or feel scared or upset. Particularly when we don’t slow down and take the time to really look.”

“Just think. Just be quiet and think. It’ll make all the difference in the world.”

Start journaling

Anne Frank — “Paper has more patience than people.”

“Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain.”

“Journals aren’t for the reader, they are for the writer. To slow the mind down. To wage peace with oneself. They are spiritual windshield wipers. They area few minutes of reflection that both demands and creates stillness.”

“Just know that it may turn out to be the most important thing you do all day.”

Cultivate silence

“By observing silence, you would finally be able to hear what other people think.”

“Wherever we are, what we hear is mostly noise. When we ignore it, it disturbs us. When we listen to it, we find it fascinating.”

Several hundred of senior executives and top leaders recharge in their downtime with activities like sailing, long-distance cycling, listening quietly to classical music, scuba diving, riding motorcycles — all activities has something in common — absence of voices. A couple of hours without chatter, without other people in their ear, where they could find peace and be still — even when they were moving.

“Each of us need to cultivate those moments in our lives. Where we limit our inputs and turn down the volume so that we can access a deeper awareness of what’s going on around us.”

Seek wisdom

Let go

The domain of the soul

The book moves on to advise the readers to work on the spiritual stillness: because it is the soul that is the key to our happiness(or unhappiness), contentment(or discontent)and moderation(or gluttony). Those who seek stillness must come to:

• Develop a strong moral compass
• Steer clear of envy and Jealously and harmful desires
• Come to terms with the painful wounds of their childhood
• Practice gratitude and appreciation for the world around them
• Cultivate relationships and love in their lives
• Place belief and control in the hands of something larger than themselves
• Understand that there will be enough and that the unchecked pursuit or more ends only in bankruptcy

Choose Virtue

Heal the inner child

“How much better and less scarier life is when we don’t have to see it from the perspective of a scared, vulnerable child?”

Take the time to think about the pain you carry from your early experiences. Think about the “age” of the emotional reactions you have when you are hurt or betrayed or unexpectedly challenged in some way. That’s your inner child. They need a hug from you — the functional adult steps in to reassert and reassure. It will take some patience and empathy and real self-love to heal the wounds in your life, but when we see the roots of things, our sufferings will lessen.”

Beware desire

Enough

Bathe in beauty

Anne Frank: “Beauty remains, even in the misfortune. If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance.”

“The trackless woods. A quiet child, lying on her belly, reading a book. The clouds cutting over the wings of an airplane, its exhausted passengers asleep. A man reading in his seat. A woman sleeping. A stewardess resting her feet. The rosy fingertips of dawn coming up over the mountain. A song on repeat. The song’s beat, lining up exactly with the rhythm of events. The pleasure of getting an assignment in before a deadline, the temporary quiet of an empty box. This is stillness.”

“Don’t let the beauty of life escape you. See the world as the temple that it is. Marvel at the fact that any of this exists — that you exist.”

Accept a higher power

Enter relationships

Seneca: “There is no enjoying the possession of anything valuable unless one has someone to share it with.”

“It is true that relationships take time. They also expose and distract us, cause pain, and cost money. We are also nothing without them.”

“Life without relationships, focused solely on accomplishment, is empty and meaningless — it’s terribly out of balance and requires constant motion and busyness to keep from falling apart.”

Relationships are not a productivity hack, though understanding love and family are not incompatible with any career is a breakthrough.

It is also true that this is the single best decision you can make in life, personally and professionally, to find a partner who complements and supports you and makes you better and for whom you do the same.

Conquer your anger

All is one

“We are all strands in a long rope that stretches back countless generations and ties together every person in every country on every continent. We are all thinking and feeling the same things, we are all made of and motivated by the same things. We are all stardusts. And no one needs this understanding more than the ambitious or the creative since they live so much in their own heads and in their own bubble.”

“When you step back from the enormity of your own immediate experience — whatever it is — you are able to see the experience of others and either connect with them or lessen the intensity of your own pain. Peace is what motivates a person to be good, to treat every other living thing well, because they understand that it is a way to treat themselves well.”

The domain of the body

As they say, they body keeps score. If we don’t take care of ourselves physically, if we don’t align ourselves properly, it doesn’t matter how strong we are mentally or spiritually. This will take effort, because we winn not simply think our way to peace. We can’t pray our soul into better condition. We got to move and live our way there.

It will take our body — our habits, our actions, our rituals, our self-care — to get our mind and our spirit in the right place, just as it takes our mind and spirit to get our body to the right place.

These are the traits we need to cultivate to capture the joy and zest from the life:

• Rise above our physical limitations
• Find hobbies that rest and replenish us
• Develop a reliable, disciplined routine
• Spend time getting active outdoors
• Seek out solitude and perspective
• Learn to sit — to do nothing when called for
• Get enough sleep and rein in our workaholism
• Commit to causes bigger than ourselves

Say no

Each of us needs to get better at saying no. “No sorry, I can’t. No sorry, I’m not available. No, I don’t need that.”

“Always think about what you’re really being asked to give. Because answer is often a piece of your life, usually in exchange for something you don’t even want. That’s what time is. It’s your life, it’s your flesh and blood, that you can never get back.”

In every situation ask:

What is it? Why does it matter? Do I need it? Do I want it? What are the hidden costs? Will I look back from the distant future and be glad I did it? If I never knew about it all, would I even notice that I missed out?”

“When we know what to say no to, we can say yes to the things that matter.”

Take a walk

In Buddhism, the walking meditation is the movement after a long session of sitting, particularly through a beautiful setting, which can unlock a different kind of stillness than traditional setting. ???

Build a routine

“…the greats know that the complete freedom is a nightmare. They know that order is a prerequisite of excellence and that in an unpredictable world, good habits are a safe haven of certainty.”

“When we not only automate and routinize the trivial parts of life, but also make automatic good and virtuous decisions, we free up resources to do important and meaningful exploration. We buy room for peace and stillness, and thus make good work and good thoughts accessible and inevitable.”

Get rid of your stuff

Seek solitude

Be a human being

“It’s human being, not human doing, for a reason. Being present. Knowing your limits. The body that each of us has is a gift. Don’t work it to death. Don’t burn it out.”

Go to sleep

“If we treat sleep as a luxury, it is the first to go when we get busy. If sleep is what happens only when everything is done, work and others will constantly be impinging on your personal space.”

“Sleep is the interest we have to pay on the capital which is called in at death. The higher the interest rate and the more regularly it is paid, the further the rate of redemption is postponed.”

“We only have so much energy for our work, for our relationships, for ourselves. A smart person understands this and guards it carefully. The greats — they protect their sleep because it’s where the best state of mind comes from. They say no to things. They turn in when they hit their limits. They don’t let the creep of sleep deprivation undermine their judgement. They are smart and self-aware enough to know that everyone functions better when well-rested.”

Find a hobby

“If an action tires your body but put your heart at ease, do it.”

“Won’t my work suffer if I step away from it?”

“There’s nothing to feel guilty about being idle. It’s not reckless. It’s an investment. There is nourishment in pursuits that have no purpose — that is their purpose.”

“At leisure, we are with ourselves. We are present. It’s us and the fishing pole and the sound of the line going into the water. It’s us and the waiting, giving up control. It’s us and the flash cards for the language we are learning. It’s the humility of being bad at something because we are a beginner, but having the confidence to trust in the process.”

“No one is making us do this. No money is on the line to motivate us, no rewards or validation but the experience. You can’t do leisure for pay, you can’t do it to impress other people. You have to do it for you.”

Beware escapism

Act bravely

On to the final act

Die peacefully.

“As a well-spent day brings a happy sleep, so a well employed life brings a happy death.” — Leonardo da Vincci

“None of us are long for this world. The denial of this simple, humbling reality- is why we attempt to build monuments to our own greatness, it’s why we worry and argue so much, why we chase pleasure and money and cannot be still while we are alive.”

“Most of this book has been about how to live well. But in so doing, it is also about how to die well. Because they are the same thing. Death is where the three domains we have studied come together.”

“We must learn to think rationally and clearly about our own fate.”

“We must find spiritual meaning and goodness while we are alive.”

“We must treat the vessel we inhabit on this planet well — or we will be forced to abandon it early.”

“Death brings an end to everything, to our minds, our souls, and our bodies, in a final permanent stillness.”

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